If you get stuck in the brimstone, hit the spacebar
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Hell is a low-budget video game from 1996.
Posted byZan at 11:13 AM 0 comments
Labels: horror
It's a diet miracle! ...I think.
Monday, March 30, 2009
I assume the plan consists of soaking all your food in the bizarre swirly mustard/poison concoction in the gravy boat. "That's disgusting. I'm not eating that shit!" There! You cut a lot of calories!
Posted byZan at 5:29 PM 0 comments
Labels: non-fiction, self-help
My Bitchin' Pecs Will Teach You To Code
Friday, March 27, 2009
I feel bad for every unfortunate 80s student who had to buy this for a programming course. "No, it's a textbook! Really! Jesus, I hate my professor."
Posted byZan at 12:12 PM 0 comments
Labels: instructional, non-fiction
That's as crazy as her patients!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
I can believe ghosts physically manifesting from psychological unrest. Interdimensional space travel, sure. But a woman doctor!? Ridiculous!
Posted byZan at 1:48 PM 0 comments
Labels: shocking true stories
...but none of it is anything you'd want to read
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Wow, this book looks incredibly exciting! I can't wait to...ZzzzzZZZzzz
Posted byZan at 12:28 PM 0 comments
Labels: children's
From the author of Spectral Sparrows
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Terror in the pasture! SEE animals with tiny little bites on them! THRILL to the amazing hero weasel armed with his wee wooden stakes! BEWARE...no small-to-medium size vermin is safe from...VAMPIRE VOLES!
Posted byZan at 12:25 PM 0 comments
Take off, Nazi scum!
Monday, March 23, 2009
This rare treasure of a novel tells the rip-roaring story of the McKenzie brothers and their loyal dog Hosehead fighting the Nazis, who apparently took that "Great White North" thing a bit too literally.
Posted byZan at 11:31 AM 0 comments
Labels: thriller
But that middle-aged white guy says I'm cool!
Friday, March 20, 2009
This guy certainly looks like an expert on being awesome. Look at those stylin' clothes his young disciples are wearing! I would definitely let him give me awesomeness tips. I wouldn't pay him, though.
Posted byZan at 2:22 PM 0 comments
Labels: non-fiction, religion
The American Publisher's Stockpile of Descriptors
Thursday, March 19, 2009
My favorite thing about Harlequin books is that the titles are so great you're never tempted to actually read the crap inside because it'd just be a big letdown.
Posted byZan at 1:31 PM 0 comments
Labels: romance
He's #1
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
With a name like "P-1", I'm sure it was absolutely hellish.
Posted byZan at 11:20 AM 0 comments
Labels: science fiction
A Punderful Fantasy World
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
If there isn't at least one "horse's ass" joke in this, I'm going to be very disappointed.
Posted byZan at 12:03 PM 0 comments
Labels: fantasy
Follow That Stench!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Meat: it's like dog food for men! This was published by the American Can Company, which I'm sure is a fair and impartial source of info on the wonders of canned meat.
Posted byZan at 11:10 AM 0 comments
Labels: cookbooks, non-fiction
Happy Friday the 13th Part II!
Friday, March 13, 2009
Pfft. That's not scary. Every house in Maine has a doll like this in it. You get used to it pretty quick.
Posted byZan at 1:20 PM 0 comments
Labels: horror
Hosin' Around
Thursday, March 12, 2009
"Why, what a lovely and unusual quilt you've made, Muriel. I've never seen one quite like it. What's that fabric?"
"Used pantyhose!"
"...You know, I just forgot, I need to sort all my Franklin Mint plates. I'd better get going."
Posted byZan at 2:25 PM 0 comments
Labels: crafts, non-fiction
Not so fluffy now, is it?
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
This is Mr. Wibbles. He is a 5-time grand champion Persian cat, and his hobbies include loafing on the sunny spot on the floor and chasing the ball with the bell in it. Do not piss him off.
Posted byZan at 12:00 PM 0 comments
Labels: horror
I bent my Wookie.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Chewie must have really pissed off Han Solo for him to want to shoot him in the back. Maybe he just snapped after finding 5 pounds of hair on the couch one too many times.
Posted byZan at 10:55 AM 0 comments
Labels: licensed, science fiction
I hope it has brakes, too.
Monday, March 9, 2009
I love this cover just for the fact that the dragon has a steering wheel.
Posted byZan at 1:20 PM 0 comments
Labels: fantasy
You had me at "Yee-haw."
Sunday, March 8, 2009
He was charmed by her when she treated his moonshine poisoning. He knew it was true love when she fixed the injuries from the jug band disaster without flinching. Not many women would be willing to pry spoons out of a man's eye, but she was special. She was...the HOOTENANNY NURSE.
Posted byZan at 1:55 PM 0 comments
Labels: romance
Spoiler alert!
Saturday, March 7, 2009
The shocking twist ending: the real villain was those puffy shorts all along. Imagine how much evil you could hide in them!
Posted byZan at 12:05 PM 0 comments
Labels: science fiction
Yum.
Friday, March 6, 2009
You can tell by the wine glass, the plastic flowers, and the crown roast of droopy wieners that this hot dog cookbook is classy as hell.
Posted byZan at 5:14 PM 0 comments
Labels: cookbooks, non-fiction
Hello!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Welcome to the fine Museum of Bad Book Covers. Pull up a pleather chair and settle down in front of the mahogany-contact-paper bookshelves. There's treasure everywhere.
This seems like it'd be pretty easy, but hey, I'm not the captain...
Posted byZan at 7:10 PM 0 comments
Labels: instructional, non-fiction
